Over the last few weeks I have found myself in what I thought or considered to be a state of “anomie.” Big word I know but it means nothing more than just the state of being focus-less - not knowing whether to go left or right up or down. However, as I’m sitting here observing myself interact with others I realize that I am not by any means in a state in which I know nothing; I am just surrounded by individuals who (I believe) know nothing! My problem is not that these individuals aren’t as “smart” as I am the problem is that they think they know everything without ever having learned or experienced anything. They are too busy trying to wrap their brains around other peoples’ problems that they have no time to grasp the concept of their own, and therefore they make assumptions of how they believe the world to work. NO Bueno--- I had a friend (although sometimes very wreckless) that always dared to experience life for herself, no matter what the situation was she always wanted to be able to say “I’ve done that before,” or “I’ve experienced that.” She scared me at times but at least I could say that she was never afraid to have a focus (no matter how reckless it may seem lol). I believe myself to be the same way; however, I concern myself with what others think but really do not know and it seems to have been throwing me off. I can say that for the last few weeks I have been in a much better place bc I have kind of developed a habit of flipping the “off switch” to the tunage that I have been hearing lately. LOL!! The people here seem to be in a whole other world then I am. From the way that they dress to the way that they think, they are entirely too wrapped up in each other. For me, I think that is where my discomfort has come from bc I am not use to that. The state of anomie, as stated before, is where you are in a state of normlessness, or focusless-and I realize that I am not the one that is trap in the static- they are!!! Those people who consistently change their styles to make themselves fit in better, or those individuals who change like chameleons because they are too afraid to go against the grain. I find them to be aimless- very much so. See I know my purpose, I’ve stayed true to my person, and yes I’ve kept the same style of ME, so to me they are all the outkast—they are the ones that don’t know left from right and can’t see up from down. They are looking for their purpose in a place where we should have already established our purpose. It’s time to grow up, stop TRYING to figure out who you are and wake up and figure it out already. Your character is not defined by what Sally is wearing or who Joey is screwing, bc clearly Sally and Joey both had a purpose when they woke up this morning otherwise they wouldn’t be doing what they are doing. So here’s the solution to those trapped in this state--- you’re here bc you are trying to comfortably live to conquer someone else’s purpose, so stop following them turn around and go find your own purpose bc I guarantee once you’re on that road (ur own...of course) to fulfillment you will feel so much better.

NOTE TO SELF: stop trying to FIGURE out what you should be doing you know it----so do it!!!! You were feeling lost bc you were so caught up in the assumptions of life that others were giving you that you forgot to apply the knowledge you gained yourself---MAN UP bc your time is now and you DO NOT WANT TO MISS IT!!!!!